Tupelo sighting

I saw this sticker on the back windshield of a Chevy Trailblazer in the Walmart parking lot the other night.

I have no words.

"I found my identical hand twin!"

Well, not exactly. By the way, can you reference the quote in the title of this post? I'll give an award to whomever guesses it first. I know Anna knows it...but will she guess in time? We shall see.

Anyway, when I arrived at work today, my friend and coworker Rebecca said to me, "Nice outfit." I looked at her, then looked at me, and this is what I saw.


We wore the same outfit, and it was totally by accident! Black shoes, red pants, black turtlenecks, and even black jackets (not pictured). If you ask me, great fashionistas think alike! Stacy and Clinton would be proud.

Bah, humbug!

Don't be fooled by the title of this post. I love Christmas-time, and everything that comes with it...well, almost everything. I don't like a few things, such as...


1. "Dirty Santa" parties. Well, I actually like the parties, but I do not prefer to call the game "Dirty" Santa. That adjective just makes jolly old Saint Nick sound like a fat pervert. In lieu of letting the image of a dirty old man ruin a fun gift exchange, I prefer to call it "Silly Santa" (less creepy) or simply "White Elephant."




2. Celine Dion. One aspect I dread about Christmas is hearing Celine Dion sing Christmas songs. You see, I despise her talent, so the only time I am forced to hear her is while shopping for Christmas gifts. It seems as if stores ramp up their Celine Dion playlists around the holidays. Today as I was browsing the aisles at TJ Maxx, her annoying voice was blaring through the speakers, and it reminded me of my college roommate from my freshman year. She broke out her Celine Dion - Christmas edition, like, before Halloween that year. Yikes.




3. Giant outdoor inflatable decorations. How better to ruin a front yard than to put the abominable Santa Claus out there? Don't forget the larger-than-life snow globe and super-sized Jesus and nativity scene. Classy, eh?

Do you have any scrooge-like inclinations this time of year? I tag Anna, Claire, Kellen/Becca, and Kurt to share.

A hanky? No, thanky.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned my disdain for handkerchiefs before on this blog. If not, allow me to introduce it. I mean, what is a handkerchief? Besides gross, of course.

A man I work with has the gosh-awful-loudest sneezes I've EVER heard. After startling me (which I also hate) with his ACHOOs that are audible from across the room, he proceeds to pull a handkerchief out of his pocket, to blow gross nasal contents into it and then...throw it in the trash where it belongs? Oh, no. He puts it -- that's right -- back in his pocket.

I haven't recently discovered handkerchiefs, by the way. I know plenty of people, mostly men, who carry them. But seeing this man at my office repeatedly (brace yourself as I define exactly what he is doing) blow his nose, fold his hanky, and put his own boogers and snot BACK INTO HIS POCKET is more than I can condone. People, there is something wrong here! This man is saving his own nose crap.

I researched "handkerchief" on Wikipedia (so we know it's factual information), and the website says a hanky is used for "personal hygiene purposes such as blowing one's nose." Would someone please tell me what is hygienic about pulling apart a used handkerchief (stuck together by germs from previous uses, mind you) and trying to find a new, clean spot that hasn't been sneezed on? I mean, it makes no sense! (That germ shoutout was for you, Lartosh.)

Wikipedia also says that King Richard II of England invented the handkerchief for " the lord King to wipe and clean his nose." Again I ask, what is classy -- nay, royal -- about saving a day's worth (please let it be at most a day) of nose junk?

In conclusion, I will continue to use the simple, hygienic, disposable tissue when blowing my nose. Handkerchiefs are probably better for the environment, but they aren't better for my work environment. When I blow my nose, I will put its contents where they belong...in the trash. Long live the tissue!

A fashionista gone awry

My favorite line from one of my favorite movies goes like this: "She appeared to be clinically insane and wearing some kind of Yeti costume." That's Will's (Hugh Grant) assessment of Marcus' mom Fiona, when Marcus tries to set Will up with Fiona in the movie About a Boy. You can somewhat see the hairy sweater in the picture to the left.

I had similar sentiments when Michelle Obama walked on stage last Tuesday night as her husband accepted his role as our future president. In my opinion, Michelle Obama is a knockout. She's gorgeous. However, I was sorely disappointed when she walked onto the stage wearing this:

Michelle with the lovely Malia, the older daughter

When the Obamas took the stage in Chicago, I was still at work reporting on various elections and watching the television, and I heard myself say aloud, "No, no, no, Michelle. Honey, nooooooo. WHAT are you wearing?"

I mean, what is that? Is that thing around her waist a cumberbund or a sash or two belts that are crisscrossed? Is the dress red, is it black? Meantime, those dots are making me dizzy. Also, Is that a cardigan? I just don't know.

I mean, look how gorgeous she is. And I have loved her choice of outfits during the election, but wearing that dress during such a highly historical moment was a bad choice. It is busy and detracts from her beauty. I just can't figure it out. I wonder if it is Stacy and Clinton approved. (And if you don't know what I mean by that, please reconsider what it means to be my friend.)


Here is another look at Michelle's frock on a model:

Gross!

Did anyone else find her dress unflattering?? I look forward to seeing her First Lady wardrobe and maybe getting a few fashion pointers...that is, if she redeems herself after this catastrophe.

Hitting the trail...

The campaign trail, that is.

Kurt and I usually keep our political opinions to ourselves. However, we recently helped out a friend of his whose father is running for the U.S. Senate. Margaret Wicker and Kurt graduated from high school together and have been buddies since at least junior high, maybe earlier.

Kurt, Margaret, and me

Kurt and I both really like Roger Wicker and believe he is a much better candidate than Ronny Musgrove for the Senate. Wicker voted against the bailout, which we were also against. We recently spent the day taking fliers to houses and putting them in/on doors, somehow.

Thumbs down = illegal

It is illegal to put them in mailboxes, so the following are examples of the correct ways to campaign:





Also, make no mistake -- campaigning can be dangerous. Kurt got chased by a dog. I was down the street, and I heard a ruckus behind me. I looked down the street (not within 'hollering' distance) and saw/heard Kurt scolding a dog. So I called him on his cell phone, and he told me that a dog chased him out of a driveway. I laughed and said, "Nuh uh." And he said, "Yes it did. I had to back swiftly out of the driveway." Thanks for the explanation.

Kurt risked his life for Roger Wicker. Now that's loyalty.

Not the dog that chased Kurt, but of similar build.

I also faced danger. You never know what is lurking around your front door.

scary spider

Also, this little fellow told me he was voting for Wicker. He staged a sit-in in someone's yard until the owner promised to vote for Wicker. Now that's dedication.


I even decorated my car and my shirt to show my support.

Car

Shirt

Don't forget to vote on Tuesday. In summary,

Lately we've been...

BUSY!

Two weekends ago we went to Oxford with a couple in our church to see a musical called Smokey Joe's Cafe in the Ford Center. Lyndon and Amelia Perkins took us to dinner in (on? at?) the Square at Downtown Grill. Oxford, I must admit, is a lovely town. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and are thankful for the hospitality and generosity that our church members show us.

Lyndon, Amelia, Marty & Kurt

Smokey Joe cast member and me

Also, the following picture sums up Ole Miss: even their dogs are spoiled! Find a toilet for goodness sake!

So I'm a little strange...

A couple of people tagged me to name six quirky/interesting things about myself. I told Emory I was too normal to participate in such an exercise, but we all know that's a lie...

1. When I'm home alone, I check inside the showers to make sure no one is hiding in there, planning to attack me.

2. I can't stand for rain to get on my glasses. If I know it is going to rain, I will wear my contacts that day.

3. When I get into my car to go somewhere, I buckle up immediately (usually before I even start the car) and lock the doors. Safety (or paranoia) first!

4. I carry my planner and a scratch pad with me everywhere I go so I can always know what is going on and also write stuff down so I won't forget.

5. I don't like to touch leftover food on plates when I am washing dishes. It grosses me out.

6. I hate this about myself, but it is true: I always go a penny over the dollar when I pump gas.

My new hairdo

When Kurt was out of town last weekend, I got crazy and colored my hair. What do you think?

Before

After

Who's that boy?

This is my husband Kurt. At least twice a week, a stranger approaches him and says, "You look familiar. Have we met before?" At first I thought they were pickup lines, but then I realized that just as many guys ask him as girls...and we won't go there. Kurt's usual response is, "No, I'm just a tall, skinny, blond guy. We all look alike."

We were shocked to discover that Kurt's sister and brother-in-law think Kurt looks like Ryan Howard from The Office, except with blond hair. Do you see it? We really don't. Well, maybe the nose...


Then, Kurt spoke at a youth conference in Hattiesburg, MS, this past weekend. One girl, a college student and chaperone, had the audacity to tell Kurt that he looks like...drum roll, please....

TOBY FLENDERSON from The Office.

Yes, I said Toby.

Toby??!!!

WHAT?

Now that, I do not see. Do you??

The Ross and Rachel Principle

I turned on NBC tonight to watch The Office at 8 o'clock, only to be bombarded with more madness from this upcoming presidential election. Since I am a news editor, I follow the election all day. I am ready to be done with it by the time I get home. (However, I watched the debate anyway...)

If you watched The Office last week, you saw Jim and Pam get engaged. (I would put a spoiler alert here, but you have had plenty of time to visit NBC.com and watch it.) Finally, right? When Jim popped the question in the rain in front of the gas station, I screamed and jumped up and down the couch in excitement. But, my heart immediately sank. Why, you ask? Because of what I have named "The Ross and Rachel Principle."

If you know me AT ALL, you know my obsession with the show FRIENDS. Similarly to The Office, all the characters of Friends are unique and enjoyable and bring a different flavor and talent to the show. However, Ross and Rachel were the glue, the romance that kept the show going.

Enter Jim and Pam. Their engagement is the moment we have been awaiting the last four seasons. Well, it came. And guess what? I'm going to assume NBC and the actors on The Office aren't planning to quit their jobs and end the show any time soon because it is a huge success. Where to go from here? Good question!

You see, Ross and Rachel didn't get together for good, for permanent, for FOREVER, until the last 10 minutes of the very last episode of Friends. They had to be off-and-on to keep us interested in the show.

Therefore, The Ross and Rachel Principle will soon become The Jim and Pam Principle. They won't last. They can't. If the show plans to continue, some obstacle will come up to separate Jim and Pam, at least for a little while. I predict they will break up soon. Something will interfere with their relationship or their wedding planning or their fill-in-the-blank. Because of the Ross and Rachel Principle, expect years (however many more this great show will give us) of ups and downs to come for Jim and Pam. However, I'll will follow every last minute of it. For now, let's celebrate PB&J!

Southern UNhospitality

Pete, his wife Becky, and little Noelle

One of my coworkers moved here from Maryland about 2 years ago. His name is Pete. Pete is married and has a daughter named Noelle who is a toddler, and his wife Becky is having another daughter in about 4 months.

Yesterday, Pete and his family went for a delightful stroll in his Saltillo, MS (a town north of Tupelo), neighborhood. It was sunny, the air was fresh, and they wanted to spend some quality time together enjoying God's creation.

Lo and behold (in my most southern drawl), a dog ran out of its "fenced-in" yard and bit little Noelle on the back of the leg. Can you believe that? Pete took Noelle home, took a picture of the wound, and took his camera to the dog's owner to warn her -- politely, mind you -- about her dog.

The owner got feisty, so Pete pushed the 'RECORD' button on his camera. After a terrible experience with this uncivilized excuse for a lady, who I'm ashamed to call a Mississippian, Pete created the following video. True story.

As you will see in the video below, the lady goes berserk. You may be shocked to see a human behave this way, but not after you see her shirt...



Nuff said.

The best invention EV-ER

Today I overheard a guy at work say, "I think the taser is the best invention ever made."

(Note: a taser is a stun gun that fires electrical darts to immobilize a person. Got that from Meriam Webster.)

If I questioned him about this statement, I think the conversation would go something like this:

Me - Really? The taser? Hmm. What about, say, electricity?
Him - No.
Me - Ok, how about the cotton gin?
Him - Nope. The taser.
Me - You're sure about that? Not the printing press? You know, printing billions of copies of the Bible and all.
Him - No siree. Hands down -- the taser.
Me - What about indoor plumbing?
Him - Uh uh.
Me - Water filtration systems?
Him - Wrong. I told you, the taser is the best invention ever.
Me - Toaster oven? Disposable diapers? The SWIVEL SWEEPER?
Him - What? Fie! It's the taser.
Me - Ok, hear me out. How about the Internet?
Him - Taser.
Me - Electric can opener?
Him - Taser, for sure.
Me - How about guns?
Him - Eh, well...maybe...nah, the taser.
Me - Ok, ok, I got it. Central heating and cooling, right?
Him - Nope. I already told you! The taser!
Me - What about giant, economy-sized packages of toilet paper and frozen foods that can be purchased at Sam's club?
Him - Not happening. Sticking with the taser.
Me - Modern medicine? I mean, c'mon, dude.
Him - Sorry. Taser all the way.
Me - Dental hygiene?
Him - Taser.
Me - Irrigation?
Him - No. No. No.
Me - Alright, alright. Are you ready for this? MREs?
Him - What's an MRE?
Me - Meals ready to eat. Like they have in the military.
Him - Oh, heavens no.
Me - Meteorology and storm tracking?
Him - Nope.
Me - Outer space studies? Cancer research?
Him - No way.
Me - You Tube? Ebonics? The Urban dictionary?
Him - Homey, please. (You're right. He wouldn't say that.)
Me - Vaccines? Non-invasive surgery? The epidural?
Him - Good try, but no.
Me - Not even Catch Phrase? (The game, of course.)
Him - For the last time, it's the taser. Ok? The taser is the best invention ever.
Me - Ok, just making sure.

I'm white

Yes, I know -- stating the obvious. You may have heard of a web site called StuffWhitePeopleLike.com. It basically makes fun of white people, and Kurt and I really enjoy reading it...because we pretty much get pegged every time.

Below is one example...of me. However, I don't think I'll change. I don't really want to, and I don't think I can. I will always be the Grammar Nazi. I even edited the article below to make sure it was right. (I hope you don't find any errors now...) I also added personal commentary in red!

Grammar

May 12, 2008

White people love rules. It explains why they get so upset when people cut in line, why they tip so religiously, and why they become lawyers. But, without a doubt, the rule system that white people love the most is grammar. It is in their blood not only to use perfect grammar but also to spend significant portions of time pointing out the errors of others. (Just ask Kurt!)

When asking someone about his or her biggest annoyances in life, you might expect responses like “hunger,” “being poor,” or “getting shot.” If you ask a white person, the most common response will likely be “people who use ‘their’ when they mean ‘there.’ Maybe comma splices. I’m not sure, but it’s definitely one of the two.” (It's the their/there mistake.)

If you wish to gain the respect of a white person, it’s probably a good idea that you find an obscure and debated grammar rule such as the “Oxford Comma” and take a firm stance on what you believe is correct. This is seen as more productive and forward-thinking than simply stating your anger at the improper use of "it’s."

Another important thing to know is that, when white people read magazines and books, they are always looking for grammar and spelling mistakes. (Don't forget emails and text messages.) In fact, one of the greatest joys a white person can experience is to catch a grammar mistake in a major publication. Finding one allows a white person to believe that he or she is better than the writer and the publication, since they would have caught the mistake (Harry Potter series). The more respected the publication, the greater the thrill (Bible?). If a white person were to catch a mistake in The New Yorker, it would be a sufficient reason for a large party.

Though they reserve the harshest judgment for professionals, do not assume that white people will cast a blind eye to your grammar mistakes in email and official documents. They will judge you and make a general assessment about your intelligence after the first infraction. Fortunately, this situation can be improved if you ask a white person to proofread your work before you send it out. (The writer of this funny little ditty should've gotten it proofread before he published it. Just sayin'.) “Hey Jill, I’m sorry to do this, but I have a business degree, and I’m a terrible writer. Can you look this over for me?” This deft maneuver will allow the white person to feel as though his or her liberal arts degree has a purpose and allow you to do something more interesting. (I would be offended, but I'm a professional editor.)

Don’t worry, it is impossible for a white person to turn down the opportunity to proofread. (True statement.)

It's a hardwood life for us

Recently Kurt and I got hardwood floors installed to replace our carpet. (Yes, Kelly Daniels, they are real hardwood.) We love love love them! Our rug came in yesterday, and I can't wait to see the whole ensemble!

You'll also notice I'm holding something. It's my new favorite toy -- the Swivel Sweeper! (Not to be confused with a Swiffer Sweeper.) Call me crazy, but this is what I asked Kurt to get me for my birthday in May. This broom/vacuum is amazing! It sucks on all sides and the head swivels 360 degrees! It is amazing, and it works wonders on our new floors.

Three years and counting

Today is August 13, 2008, and Kurt and I are celebrating our 3-year wedding anniversary. Our wedding day was a hot day, and we got married at 2:00 p.m. to ensure that lots of sun would shine through the church windows. The best part for me was sharing it with our friends who have been so faithful to us, helping us to build our relationship and to love one another. We have wonderful friends from college (and new ones in Tupelo, too!) and feel ABUNDANTLY blessed with our families as well.


This year we celebrated early by going to see Dave Matthews Band at Autozone Park in Memphis on August 2. It was a fabulous concert. We ran into some friends, bought some expensive water, inhaled some marijuana smoke from the "duuuuuuudes" in front of us, and dodged the sloshing beer from the middle-aged couple next to us doing dance moves only fit for MTV's "The Grind." (Dang security guards confiscated my Bombay Sapphire. I wish.) All in all, it really was a great concert. DMB is so talented, and I was so happy to go! And, Dave is a total babe. (See Kurt's take on the concert here.)

But, I have a confession to make. I'm pretty embarrassed about it. The Dave concert was only my (brace yourself)...2nd...concert to attend in my whole life! I mean, it was only my 2nd REAL concert to attend (because the 45 Christian music concerts I've attended do not count as real concerts. No arguments.).

My very first concert -- the Goo Goo Dolls at the Humphrey Coliseum at MSU when I was in 8th grade -- can only be attributed to my friend Christine Tibbett Barker (or is it Tibbett-Barker? Or still just Tibbett?). Her dad Ron -- best dad ever -- took us to the concert, and it took a lot of him convincing my grandmother for her to let me go. We got to stay out pretty late on a school night and even stopped to eat at Wendy's on the way home from the concert. Wild time, I know. But, that was my first concert experience, and I am thankful to Christine for that.

Christine has recently opened a bridal and formalwear store in Starkville called Christine's Couture. She was an Apparel, Textiles, and Merchandising major at MSU. After graduating college, she lived in Atlanta and worked in fashion there, but now she is back in Starkville and her business is booming! Christine (with me on the right) has lovely merchandise for weddings (wedding gowns and bridesmaids dresses) and formals/parties. If you or anyone you know are getting married or have a soirée to attend, please visit Christine's Couture at 201 E. Main St. in Starkville or on the web at www.christinescouture.com.