Monday, October 22, 2007

Long Live The KING!

...Bob Barker, that is. This morning I turned on the television, and I saw Drew Carey hosting The Price Is Right. DREW CAREY?!? I admit, it's better than Rosie O'Donnell. But, a walking slice of rotten, putrid cheese is better than Rosie O'Donnell. Drew Carey hosting my favorite game show of all time might be old news to some people. I remember hearing rumors about potential new hosts a few months back, but I did not know until this morning that one had been chosen. Well, he stinks. Big time. Bob Barker is irreplaceable. That's who Beyonce' wrote her song about. "You must not know about [Bob Barker]"...Anyway, I completely disagree with choosing a replacement. No one could ever measure up to Bob, even if he was kind of a perve and went to court a few times for alleged sexual harassment. I'm still mourning his retirement, and CBS interrupted my grief process with even worse news! Drew Carey already hosts Power of 10, which I've only seen twice and haven't loved. Why let him flaunt his failed career on daytime television, when he clearly proves its downfall during the evening? I give him a year on The Price Is Right...maybe. Surely God won't allow this blasphemy to continue for much longer.

It was always my dream to be a contestant on The Price Is Right when I turned 18. But, my grandparents got me a car instead...I wanted to hear those words, "A new car!" from Bob's mouth, but I settled by hearing it from my grandparents. Actually, they would've said, "A used car!" Oh, well. Life goes on, I guess. That's just one thing on my wish list that I'll never accomplish. I'll never get to kiss Bob's tan, leathery cheek. I'll never get to hear my name called over the loud speaker followed by "come on down!" I'll never get to run down the aisle chest-bumping complete strangers and giving them high fives. I'll never get to make a bid and hear "the actual retail price is..." or say, "One dollar, Bob" or get evil glares from my neighboring contestants for bidding one dollar over their bid and winning. I'll never get the chance to play Dice Game, Hole-in-one, Plinko, Cliff Hangers, Clock Game, Hi-Lo, One Away, Squeeze Play, Range Game, or Punch-a-Bunch. I'll never get to spin the wheel in the bonus round and win $1,000 or an additional $5,000 or $10,000. I'll never get to go to the showcase showdown and pass the sucky showcase to my neighbor and bid the perfect number so I win both showcases and celebrate with my friends on stage while Bob tells me: "Bob Barker reminding you; help control the pet population. Have your pet spayed or neutered. Goodbye, everybody!"...Alas, none of this will ever be. But, I can still dream about what might have been...In my own heart, I'll always be one of Barker's Beauties.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I'm a turbo vet...

Guess what happened at MSU on Saturday? Sweat. That's right. Sweat sweat sweat sweat sweat. Unbelievable! Well, not really, considering it's been "as hot as blue blazes" outside, as my dear mother-in-law would say. She would also say that we were "slap dab burnin' up" on Saturday! We were. However, all the sweat that covered The Junction (which, by the way, freaking rules!) could never have drowned out all the fun being had. I got to see tons of friends that I haven't seen in a while and still managed to "rock-n-roll all night and party every day" even though my poor, sweet husband was at home sick. (I offered to come home to take care of him, but he wouldn't let me.) Back to The Junction. I love it. I thought MSU couldn't get any better when I was a student there. Two years after I leave, they change it all up, and it gets even more awesome. How can this be, you ask? Because God is good. Can I get an "Amen" for The Junction?!? Below is a haiku i personally penned, and I now unreservedly dedicate it to The Junction:

Malfunction Junction,
What is your function? It's this:
To party on, Wayne.

Friday night I ate dinner at City Bagel and hung out with some friends I haven't seen in 2 years. Saturday morning, I ate breakfast at City Bagel and hung out with some friends I haven't seen in 2 years. Some guy in a swamp-man outfit roamed around Starkville and MSU all day Saturday. Anna and I saw him at breakfast, and Anna saw him again during the game. I wonder if he got paid to do that...if so, I might consider purchasing a swamp-woman outfit and hittin' the streets.

As soon as I finish this blog entry, I'm going to finish reading Harry Potter IV: The Goblet of Fire. It is my favorite of those books so far. It has the most suspenseful opening and the most creative twists and turns of them all. Kurt says it's his favorite as well and that it has the best ending. He's read all 7 books. Blimey, it's 9:45! I must go continue to witness Barty Crouch, Jr., spill his guts from the truth serum Dumbledore just gave him...Night, all.