The best invention EV-ER

Today I overheard a guy at work say, "I think the taser is the best invention ever made."

(Note: a taser is a stun gun that fires electrical darts to immobilize a person. Got that from Meriam Webster.)

If I questioned him about this statement, I think the conversation would go something like this:

Me - Really? The taser? Hmm. What about, say, electricity?
Him - No.
Me - Ok, how about the cotton gin?
Him - Nope. The taser.
Me - You're sure about that? Not the printing press? You know, printing billions of copies of the Bible and all.
Him - No siree. Hands down -- the taser.
Me - What about indoor plumbing?
Him - Uh uh.
Me - Water filtration systems?
Him - Wrong. I told you, the taser is the best invention ever.
Me - Toaster oven? Disposable diapers? The SWIVEL SWEEPER?
Him - What? Fie! It's the taser.
Me - Ok, hear me out. How about the Internet?
Him - Taser.
Me - Electric can opener?
Him - Taser, for sure.
Me - How about guns?
Him - Eh, well...maybe...nah, the taser.
Me - Ok, ok, I got it. Central heating and cooling, right?
Him - Nope. I already told you! The taser!
Me - What about giant, economy-sized packages of toilet paper and frozen foods that can be purchased at Sam's club?
Him - Not happening. Sticking with the taser.
Me - Modern medicine? I mean, c'mon, dude.
Him - Sorry. Taser all the way.
Me - Dental hygiene?
Him - Taser.
Me - Irrigation?
Him - No. No. No.
Me - Alright, alright. Are you ready for this? MREs?
Him - What's an MRE?
Me - Meals ready to eat. Like they have in the military.
Him - Oh, heavens no.
Me - Meteorology and storm tracking?
Him - Nope.
Me - Outer space studies? Cancer research?
Him - No way.
Me - You Tube? Ebonics? The Urban dictionary?
Him - Homey, please. (You're right. He wouldn't say that.)
Me - Vaccines? Non-invasive surgery? The epidural?
Him - Good try, but no.
Me - Not even Catch Phrase? (The game, of course.)
Him - For the last time, it's the taser. Ok? The taser is the best invention ever.
Me - Ok, just making sure.