Merry Christmas from the Coopers

Kurt, Marty & Winnie

Guest Blogger: Winnie Claire

Woof! It's Winnie. You may be wondering how I got this computer.

Mommy was sitting on the couch watching 30 Rock and checking Twitter on her computer. I did my usual routine of whining and jumping on the couch, then standing over her lap, between her and the computer so she can no longer see the screen. What else can I do since I can't tell her, "Mommy, I want some attention!"...or a treat, or to go potty, or to go to the mailbox, or to take a walk, etc. So I resort to whining and forcing myself physically on her to get her attention.

She just got up to get a diet Dr. Pepper (she drinks those a lot), so I took over her computer. I'm pretty sure Mommy talks about me a lot to her friends, but she doesn't talk a lot about me on her blog. Shame on her! I'll be sure to whine extra at 3:00 this morning to punish her for that.

About me:

I like squeaky toys. If they don't squeak, forget about it. My usual operation when I receive a toy is to find the squeaker, run around the house squeaking it, and then park myself in one spot and chew and pull and tear for 30 minutes until I get the squeaker out and the rest of the toy is strewn about the room and Mommy has to clean it up and complain about how no toys last around here.

I also like rawhide bones. Mommy gives me about 1 per day. When she gives it to me, I will either run to the back door so I can chew it outside and prance around the yard with it in my mouth, or I run back to Mommy and Daddy's room and chew it in there. I really like Mommy and Daddy's room. I stay on their bed a lot. When Mommy wakes up in the morning, she takes me out to potty, and then she gets in the shower. When she does that, I get in her spot on the bed and snuggle with Daddy.

Sometimes at night when Mommy and Daddy go to bed, I get in the bed with them. Mommy calls it a Fam-Sam (family sammich) because the three of us are snuggled up like a sandwich and there isn't much room left in the bed when I get in there.

Another thing I do on occasion is fart in Daddy's face. A couple of weeks ago, Mommy was getting ready for work and said to Daddy, "Guess what the scale said this morning? 122.8!" and then Daddy said, "Well guess who farted in my face last night and then left the bed?" Mommy said, "Me?" and Daddy said, "No, Winnie!" I didn't understand what all they said, but I heard my name, so I knew it was important.

I have 3 friends that I know by name: Gus, Hula and Blue. If Mommy says, "Where's Hula?" I run to the window, jump in the chair, and look out of it and whine. Sometimes Hula's mom Leslie comes over and leaves Hula over here to play with me while she and Mommy go for a walk. We run around the back yard and wrestle. When Hula's mom takes her back home, I watch them out the window until they turn off the street. I love my friends.


The window chair is where I spend a lot of time and watch what is happening in the neighborhood. We live at the end of a cul-de-sac, and I see lots of exciting happenings on our street. Sometimes Mommy or Daddy looks out the window with me.

I like treats a lot. Beggin' Strips are my favorite! I also like Milkbones, and Mommy lets me brush my teeth with Greenies every once in a while.

Lately I have been waking Mommy up at 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning, whining next to her face by the bed. Sometimes I need to go potty, and sometimes I am just bored and want to play. She really doesn't like this new habit of mine. Daddy is nice and gets up with me some, too. Last night they took my water away from me at 10:00, and I didn't wake them up. I bet they keep doing that, and maybe even take it away earlier.

Mommy and Daddy have stopped giving me people food because it was making me throw up. Mommy feels bad, but Daddy says they are doing it because they love me. However, it doesn't stop me from begging for food when they eat. I put my head on their lap and drool on their clothes. I even whine, but they just won't give me a bite anymore.

I really hate bath time. Mommy and Daddy have to bathe me together because one of them has to hold me in the tub and one of them bathes and rinses me. It's a team effort. I endure it, and I always give them the most pathetic look that says, "Why are you abusing me?" while they bathe me. Mommy gives me pep talks throughout the procedure, but it doesn't help. After I get out of the tub, I shake off all over the living room an kitchen, soaking the floor, and make Mommy and Daddy towel dry everything.

I hope I get lots of toys and treats for Christmas. I'll let you know how that turns out.

Woof,
Winnie C. Cooper

Words of Wisdom

I need to write down all the things my grandmother says to me. Her comments almost always have to do with my weight (yes, she's always harped on lil' ol' me about my weight -- even though I have had my bigger times in the last year --) or my appearance (what I'm wearing, how my face/hair looks, etc.).

My grandmother is a proper lady. She hardly ever speaks a crass word, and if she does, she spells it. For example, one time she said, "I am so D-A-M-N angry..."

She and my precious grandfather stopped by my office today to give me a hug. I haven't seen them in a few weeks, and they were passing through Tupelo and wanted to see me. It was a pleasant visit as usual, but then we had this conversation:

"What meeting do you have today at 5:00?" asked Grandmom.
"It's with a pretty important client," says I.
"Well, make sure you put your powderpuff to your nose beforehand," Grandmom concluded.

Of course. Can't leave without commenting on my appearance. She is too proper to say, "Your face is shiny. Fix it."

She also likes to say, "You just need the taste." She says that when telling my grandfather he doesn't need a ton of jelly for his toast (because you just need enough to taste it, not enough to pack on the calories) or when ordering a kid's sized yogurt instead of a normal-sized one.

Stay tuned for more words of wisdom from my grandmother, who will put you down, but only in the nicest, most loving way.

Winnie goes trick-or-treating

This picture looks like Winnie, but it's not. Well, it's not actually her, but the poor thing did get sick today.

This morning started out normally. I went to work; Kurt went to work; my sister Leslie was visiting and slept in before packing up to head home. Leslie called me at work about 10:00 this morning saying that Winnie had gotten herself into some mischief.

First, the typical thing. Leslie left the guest room door open, and Winnie chewed up and scattered all of Leslie's feminine products. Like I said, typical.

Then the bad news. Winnie girl chewed the top off of Leslie's migraine medicine pills and there were pills strewn about the bedroom floor. Oh no. Leslie didn't hear Winnie in the guest room and didn't know to keep the door closed to protect her belongings, so she discovered Winnie after she had raided Leslie's medicine cabinet, a.k.a. suitcase. (That pup is not afraid to rummage through your stuff...or your trash cans, etc. She's nosy. Like her mama.)

I called Winnie's veterinarian and they said to give her some hydrogen peroxide and make her vomit, then sift through the vomit to see if there were any pills in there. GROSS. (Note: I'd rather clean up dog poop than dog vomit. If you've ever had to clean up dog puke, it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, "That girl/guy/outfit is dog-vomit ugly.")

Leslie was the one at home, so she agreed to give Winnie the peroxide and wait. After Leslie turned Winnie's head back and made her swallow some peroxide, it took about five minutes for Winster to puke. Leslie had taken her outside at my suggestion, so Winnie was able to vom without getting the floors dirty. Leslie called and said, "She puked...3 times. Do you have any gloves so I can examine it?"

Well, I told her I did have gloves, but only garden gloves. So, she used those. Thankfully, no pills were discovered. However, Leslie did discover a bar code sticker from something I bought (who knows?) as well as a paper clip. Yikes.

So, Winnie girl is ok. I'm ok as well. Kurt's ok, too. Bless our hearts. Here's to keeping a closer eye on my little nibbler.

I'm obsessed

with this song...

Hoarding Tendencies

As I mentioned earlier, I got out all of my fall/winter clothes and put up my "flimsy" summer clothes. I stored them in the attic in four 20-gallon tubs (3 were mine, one was Kurt's), and while Kurt put them up there for storage, I was bull-headed and got them down by myself. Subsequently, I pulled my quadricep muscle in my left thigh. Those sum-guns were too heavy for me to be maneuvering down the attic stairs. Oh well.

Upon unpacking the contents of the bins, I discovered many treasures I had forgotten about since last year. Some things I can still wear and like, and some things I cannot -- which I am giving to Leslie (my sister) like I do every year.

I also discovered inordinate amounts of some items. I have 12 coats. Yes, 12. Who needs 12 coats in Mississippi? I also have upwards of 25 purses, and about 9 pairs of boots. I have subsequently diagnosed myself as a hoarder.

Similarly, I have about 8 different kinds of shampoo/conditioner in my shower. Poor Kurt only has 1 kind that he uses, but it is hard to locate amongst the plethora of my products. Maybe I need my own bathroom.

Also, my closet is bigger than Kurt's (as it should be). After spending about 10 minutes hanging up his sweaters and corduroys -- and 2 hours hanging up my fall clothes -- I told him I had run out of closet space and asked him if I could use some of his. He was not amused. He even keeps his Sunday suits in the guest room closet because they won't fit in his regular closet. Ha. I guess we know who the high maintenance one is in our household...Winnie. Annnnd possibly me.

This post is for Audrey

(Drey)

So, Audrey practically begged me for a blog post. Well, maybe not begged, but scolded. Whatevsies. (Audrey-ism) Audrey and I became friends post-Katrina. Kurt and I had been married for 2 weeks when Katrina hit NOLA. I had just moved to Jackson and was starting a new job and a new life and was trying to adjust to everything. I didn't know many people, but Kurt interned with a ministry similar to RUF at Millsaps College and I, of course, went with him to every meeting. Upon my first visit to Millsaps Christian Fellowship, I met Audrey. I assumed she had been a Millsaps student all along, but she and her boyfriend had actually just transferred for one semester from Tulane in New Orleans to Millsaps in Jackson because of Katrina. In that way, I am so thankful for Katrina because Audrey was a savior for me that semester. Neither of us had any girlfriends in Jackson, and we became instant friends. I begged her to stay at Millsaps and finish her college career, but she and her boyfriend (now-husband) Doug returned to New Orleans (who can blame them?). We saw each other as often as we could after they moved back, and she even asked me to be in her wedding about a year-and-a-half ago. It was the most fun and lovely wedding I've ever attended/been in. Love this girl.

I have been thinking of writing a blog dedicated to Audrey anyway, so here goes.

Topic #1: Dresses

I have been wearing dresses a lot lately. None of my pants from last year fit right now (although I've lost 7 lbs...yay!), but I'm working on it. When I found myself shopping for pants, I got bummed out about having to buy two sizes bigger than what I used to get, so I decided to wear dresses because they are more forgiving. Audrey owns no pants. (Her only pair of jeans recently died a shameful death.) She wears dresses everyday. And she always looks cute. Dresses make me feel more stylish than pants anyway, so I think I might continue with my trend. Audrey is my dress-wearing inspiration. My uniform for fall and winter is a dress, tights, and boots. So simple, yet so fun!

Speaking of transitioning from summer to fall, Audrey got out her fall clothes and put up her summer clothes on the first official calendar day of fall. She does that no matter where she lives. However, she is currently living in Boston, so she kind of had to get out the warm clothes on time this year.

Last night my grandmother told me that it was going to get cool outside on Friday, and then she said this: "You need to put up all of those flimsy things you were wearing this summer." Flimsy? Wow. Thanks, Grandmom. I guess she meant my flowy, cotton summer dresses...? Whatevsies, Grandmom. I am making the seasonal clothing exchange today, so she'll be proud.

Topic #2: Tennis

Audge said she wanted to hear about tennis. I started playing tennis again in the spring, and it has been wonderful. It is a great outlet for me, and it is practically the only thing I'm decent at athletically. At first I lost all my matches, but I wasn't going to let that make me quit again this time, and it paid off. I got on a semi-winning streak (winning 4 matches in a row), but I am back on the losing streak, having lost my last 3 matches. Oh well. However, one of my teams is going to the state championship in November in Jackson, so I'm looking forward to my first State experience! Hope my nerves don't get the best of me and that I enjoy myself. I have met lots of new people through playing tennis, and it is very fun and laid back (despite my competitive nature). People bring beer to every match, and some people even drink while they play. Ha! I prefer to stay hydrated with water during the match, but I don't mind a celebratory (or consolation) brewski after a match.

Topic #3: Weeds

Have you seen the show Weeds? It comes on Showtime. We don't get it on TV at our house, but a coworker recommended it to me, and I decided to investigate it. Thankfully, it was on our instant viewing on Netflix. It can be raunchy (you've been warned), but I have enjoyed catching up on the seasons. I guess I have to wait until the current season ends and comes on Netflix so I can watch it.

Topic #4: Family

I always told myself I'd never start a blog with, "Sorry I've been MIA lately." I blog when I can, and that's that. However, I have terribly missed blogging lately, and Kurt and I have both had family issues that have kept us busy. Kurt's mom got diagnosed a few months back with breast cancer. She had a double mastectomy, and right after her surgery (or during...we don't know), she had a stroke. She is currently cancer-free, but the stroke caused her to lose her left field of vision. That means she can see out of both eyes to the front and to the right, but she can't see to the left out of either eye. She has adjusted well to it so far, except for not being able to drive. That has been a real setback for her because she's such a go-getter and a doer. She is going to the neuro-ophthalmologist next month in Birmingham to see what her options are for repairing her vision. She is a special lady to me, so please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Also, about a month ago my grandmother had emergency surgery for a perforated gastric ulcer in her stomach. Bless her heart, she's been through difficult physical problems her whole adult life. She is at home healing and taking care of my grandfather, and he her. That's the short version (ha..family drama), but please keep her in your thoughts, too.

Topic #5: Winnie Claire

Winnie Claire is doing well. Right now she is trying to get between my computer and me. Apparently I'm not showing her enough attention. We recently stopped feeding her people food because it kept making her sick. Not that we gave her a lot -- just a bite here and there. But that is no more. However, it doesn't keep her from begging while we eat and salivating on our legs whenever food is around. Poor thing.

She also got an eye infection recently, and we had to put ointment in her eyes everyday for 2 weeks. Poor punkin. She loves to snuggle with Kurt and me, and we love her very much.

She is now looking out the window and whining, so I better tend to her. (Can you tell I have the day off?)

Just seen a big ol'...what?

Ludacris said it best: I gotta big weed stash, pocket full of cash... Just seen a big ol' A...well, you know the rest.

And now even if you are not naturally endowed with junk in your trunk, you can be. How, you ask? Why, with Booty Pop, of course!

Yep, I saw this item today in Bed Bath & Beyond. I SHO NUFF needed this in high school.

Apparently you just wear it as underwear (see below) for a little extra dance in your pants.

My grandmother would probably call this a boohine (boo-hyn) enhancer. Either way, I don't need this item anymore. They are about 10 years late for me.

However, I know what I will be taking to Dirty Santa parties this Christmas!

Song for the week

This song is by no means new, but it's one of my favorites and I identify with the lyrics. Enjoy!

What's your secret?

My friend Carrie Anne posted this video on Facebook. Hilarious!



P.S. Sadly, I kind of want to try it...

My mother-in-law wouldn't purchase the CamiSecret though. As she says, "Cleavage is in!"

Not exactly a spray tan

It began as any regular evening. I was walking Winnie around our neighborhood, as I do regularly during the week. As we rounded the corner to our street to end the walk, Winnie and I saw a white, furry animal. I wasn't sure what it was -- I only noticed how pretty I found it.

Then the adventure began. Winnie lunged toward the picturesque creature and starting pulling me with her. Startled, it turned around, raised its tail, and started spraying. I realized it was a skunk -- an ALBINO SKUNK (Yes, they exist. I Googled it.) and sprinted toward my house, pulling Winnie as she fought me in her effort to "go play" with another animal.

Thankfully we outran the stench, but I bet our street will be stankin' tomorrow morning. Consider this your warning, West Tupelo: Hold thy breath!

Spoiler Alert!

Anna and I went to Kroger to stock up on water before we left for RYM. Check out this tricked out spoiler we saw in the parking lot!

Tea and Tans

Lately...

I have discovered that it is time I stop shopping in the Junior's section. I have put on a few pounds (lame), and I guess my body has matured somewhat...Anyway, I have officially outgrown the Junior's section. When I told Kurt about my revelation, he responded, "Uh, yeah... you're 26 years old." Apparently it was obvious to him that I should wear adult clothes at, what I consider, a mere 26 years young. Oh well.

I also realized I don't like John Mayer's music anymore. His last few songs have been sub-par and just plain bothersome. Even when his old stuff comes up on the ol' iPod, I tend to change it (with the exceptions of "Find another you" and "Another kind of green"). I hope he hits a better stride soon. There's just no comparison between mediocre John Mayer and the amazing talents of Ryan Adams.

Last month Kurt and I took our junior high youth group to RYM in Florida. We are leaving on Monday to take our senior high youth back to the same conference. My favorite part about RYM is, no, not the food -- although it is good. It's not the seminars, although Kurt is teaching one, and it is sure to be a hit amongst the youth for the 2nd year in a row. It's not even the night out to eat good seafood and shop. I love RYM because it is AT THE BEACH! That's right, we get free time each afternoon to enjoy the sand and sea, sunbathing, and reading books. And this year, sunbathing is key. "Why?" you ask. Because I plan to be the victor in this year's Second Annual Tan-Off between yours truly and Drew Allison. He won last year, and I plan to win the rematch this year. I have spent lots of time in the sun this summer, so I believe I have a fair shot at this. I'll let you know when we lock arms and compare in August.

Guess what Winnie Claire's been up to lately? We have discovered she likes an array of snacks NOT designed for dogs. Pita chips and hummus, Cheez-its, pretzels, and gummy bears -- to name a few. The other day I took her with me while I drove to AT&T to pick up my iPhone 4 (wooty woot!). I left my car windows down so she could breathe in the sweltering July heat, and I was in the store 10 minutes maximum. I returned to find an empty 4-pack of Nutter Butter cookies and an empty cup where my tea once was. So, little Winnie girl might be British after all since she downed, albeit a lesser version, of tea and crumpets.

Tupelo Sighting: Champion

The Lawndale Presbyterian Church Youth Group Ultimate Uno Champion was recently spotted. She now only answers to Nighthawk, and will sign no autographs unless generously compensated.

2010 so far: A few of my favorite things

1. Reuniting with friends from college

Donkey Kong, Bowser, Mario

John, me, and Greg

The Noreds and me

Anna and Kel

2. Giving Winnie her birthday presents

3. My birthday breakfast from Kurty Poo

4. This dog I saw floating in my friend's pool

5. Graduates

My brother Ryan

My sister Brittany

My buddy Katie

6. Family

Granddad

Grandmom posing under a Corona sign: "Hey, my name is Martha, and I like to party."

(Granddad suggested I take this one!)

Cousin Katherine and Baby Nita

The Coopers

7. Purses, apparently

Long story...

8. Dancing

A thing of beauty

I commissioned a painting of Winnie. My friend Kathryn Wiggins, a professional painter, did it for me. I gave her a picture, and she must be magic because it looks EXACTLY like Winster.

Let me know if you want her information for a painting of your baby (pet or human). She's great!

Product placement

After complaining about Winnie's atrocious normal shedding habit, my friend Amy suggested the FURminator! It's a metal-toothed brush shaped like a large razor, and it really grabs the dog's undercoat. Brushing Winnie used to be a battle, but she loves that the Furminator gives her a good scratch!

Kurt, preparing for Furminate

Got my game face on

My baby girl

Kurt furminating Winnie (yes, in our kitchen...now we do it outside)

This is the result! It works!!

This brush can be pricey, but I got mine for half price on Amazon.com. Let me know if you get one!

Ole! Winnie turns 1 today!

My baby girl Winnie Claire is 1 year old today. She has been a great dog-ter (daughter) for Kurt and me. We got her 2 new toys. A red dog thingy and a new giraffe ("raffey"). 

Happy Cinco de Mayo to her! She requested margaritas and tequila shots, so it shall be.

Tupelo Sighting: Rated X

Kurt and I were riding down a street in Tupelo (Ida, for those who know the local geography) today in a ghetto-ish area, and thus begins our conversation:

Kurt: Marty, look over there!

Me: (eyes on the road, hands at 10 and 2, of course) Oh my gosh!

Kurt: That woman is naked! NAKED.

Me: Holy Crap! She's completely naked!

Yes, people, a lady was strolling -- leisurely-- not running, in an apartment complex parking lot N.A.K.E.D. We saw her from the back only, thank goodness, but we couldn't believe our eyes. Our conversation picks up here:

Me: Should we turn around and take a picture?

Kurt: No way!

Me: Well, she has pretty hair. (She did. It flowed down her back.)

Kurt: Her hair is what you're looking at?????

Me: Well that and her rumply butt.

Kurt: Marty, gross!

Marty: What! It is!

Kurt: We will never forget this day as long as we live.

Anyway, yes, we did see a totally nude person walking in a parking lot today in Tupelo, MS. There is no documented photo for this Tupelo sighting...you're welcome.

St. Patrick's Day Parade

I went to the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Jackson this year for the 2nd time. Last year was -- if I may borrow an overused word by today's youth -- epic. This year was fun, but didn't quite measure up to last year. We didn't get there early enough to get good "seats" (standing spots?) and I was tired from my sister's birthday party the night before. Anyway, I did get lots of beads and saw a ton of interesting floats and float-riders. However, this dude was the most entertaining part of the day.

Technically, parade spectators are supposed to stay behind the barricades. However, people (mostly children) often stand in front of them to be more of a part of the parade. This guy wanted to make his presence known.
First he was pacing back and forth as the floats passed, shouting at them for "the good beads." Then he began his performance, as seen below.

Move over, Beyonce! After the booty-shaking stopped, the strip-tease commenced.

Then the cops showed up to reprimand him and told him to get behind the barricade like the rest of the adults.

But he didn't let The Man get him down. His St. Patrick's Day spirit could not be squelched.

Long live this dude! He knows how to party, in front of God and everybody. I hope he is in the same spot next year.

Now, who else thinks this guy looks like John Wiggins????

Nashville Sightings

Saw this in a thrift store. Funny!

A real snowman!

I bet Anna Frances Duggan would like to try this joint.

You want me to eat what?

Each time I see Taco Bell's commercial for the new Pacific Shrimp Taco, I nearly gag. The first thought I have is, "Is there such a thing as artificial shrimp?"

I don't know anyone who has been brave enough to try it either on a dare or because they want to, but I will make a deal with you. If you decide to eat this fancy item from Taco Bell, please take a picture of yourself eating it, and email me your review of the product and the photo at martylcooper@gmail.com. I will then post them on my blog so we can either warn or encourage people to try Taco Bell's new delicacy.

If I get at least 5 reviews, I will eat one and write my own review to be included with the others.

Who's up for the Shrimp Taco Challenge?

I hate goodbyes

Help! I can't find one of my dearest friends: Salt and Vinegar chips.

I have been on road trips the last 2 weekends (Nashville and Jackson, respectively), and one of my favorite parts of the road trip is to stop at the gas station to get junk food. Typical snacks for me include Gardetto's, cheese puffs, mustard pretzels, or some kind of chip product, coupled with a diet Dr. Pepper.

Kurt and I stopped at a store outside of Nashville on the way home last weekend to get a snack, and I looked for Vinegar and Salt chips. They were nowhere to be found. I found this odd, but I figured that particular store was merely out of one of my favorite snacks, and I settled for something else.

On my way to Jackson on Friday, I stopped in Louisville to get some Vinegar and Salt chips and a diet Dr. Pepper. The delicious snack was nowhere to be found, so I had to settle for Dill Pickle chips -- a close second, but not as tangy.

Kurt says they don't make Vinegar and Salt chips anymore "because they're gross." He is wrong.

Do you know where the Vinegar and Salt chips have gone?