-Hand Sanitizer
-La Sharelle - some white guy in Tupelo who calls the local radio stations and acts like a black lady
-Waking up moist...or what some people call "camping"
-The Notebook.It's a point of pride for me that I've never seen it.
-Email forwards
-Kierra Knightly. Put your chin back in! And stop pursing your lips!
-School shirts that aren't school colors
-Under eye cream. Just doesn't help me.
-40 hour work weeks
-Plastic surgery
-Buying anything at full price
-People who "don't read"
-Alanis Morisette's interpretation of irony
-Pimento and Cheese
-Referring to pregnant women as "preggers"
-Fanny Packs-Denim shorts
-Women who drive trucks (not suvs...trucks!)
-dog clothes
-padded bras
-Dirty Dancing - what kind of sick jail-bait relationship promotion is that?
-Saying you have an "unspoken" prayer request
-Dipping cookies in milk
-When a couple sits on the same side of the booth/table when they are the only 2 out to dinner
-When a guy is driving a truck and the girl sits in the middle seat next to him instead of on the regular seat by the door where normal people sit
-The following names: Dawn, Misty, Stormy, Sunny...you get the idea
-Sprouts
-The BeeDazzler
-Black fingernail polish
-Vanilla Frosty
-Chic Intuition and Venus Breeze
-Chewable medicine...yuck.
-Pork rinds
-Breakfast burritos
-Pancake on a stick
-Store bought crustless bread - now that's just lazy!
-Guacamole
-Popped Collars
And the biggest of all...
-IMPROPER GRAMMAR (we all knew that was coming)
I know this list makes me look like I have no fun and don't enjoy life, but I assure you, I do. Please stay tuned for more utter disbeliefs as God brings them to my attention.
nice...
ReplyDeleteum, excuse me...you hate hand sanitizer? we cannot be friends. plus, I love guacamole, dirty dancing, pimento and cheese, and pancakes on a stick. I do, however, agree with you and most others....breakfast burritos will be served in Hades i'm sure - this is a point of conflict in my marriage. LOVE the blog.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"-When a couple sits on the same side of the booth/table when they are the only 2 out to dinner"
ReplyDeleteWhat if this is the only way acceptable for both patrons of said restaurant dinner to view perhaps the only big screen tv showing the state game on espn...
We can't forget low rise jeans with thongs hanging out the back and fried snicker bars at the state fair (heart attack waiting to happen.) Good to hear from your wonderful mind! :)
ReplyDeleteLove you and am so glad to hear your take on things! keep em coming!
ReplyDeletethis is why i love you.
ReplyDeletei used to have a bedazzler and it never worked. ever. i kept poking my fingers with the sharp bead ends more than anything else. but hand sanitizer....it's not as effective as soap, but it's a friend of mine. i'll admit.
ReplyDeleteI COMPLETELY agree with EVERYTHING! That is awesome! You have been added to my blog as well!
ReplyDeleteI dont agree with the fact that you disagree with guacamole.
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarous! Welcome to the blog world!!
ReplyDeleteI loved all your comments, but I do love guacamole. Hope things are going well for you can Kurt. Take care and love you. Ms. Linda
ReplyDeleteUm, i agree with %75 of what you said, which isn't half bad. I look forward to reading more of your stuff and less of kurt's!!!
ReplyDeletecookies...
ReplyDeleteI don't believe in school fundraisers that encourage people to buy really cheap junk made in China and probably coated in lead-based paint just so the school can keep 40% of the proceeds.
ReplyDeleteWhich reminds me: would you rather have the dragonfly garden stepping stone made of an undetermined material or a bag of "Magic Bows," in a variety of festive colors for Christmas?
*grin*
Yay, glad you're blogging.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you on almost all points, Stormy.
However:
1. Hand sanitizer is a must in NYC. You want to eat a hot dog from a street cart after riding the subway all afternoon? I've literally seen people popping zits against the windows, getting manicures, and peeing on the trains. Pass me the Purell.
2. Kiera Knightly is a must. Period. Actually, she is musth. Seriously musth.
3. Mmmmm... Kiera Knightly...
-Kelvin
guacamole doesn't believe in YOU
ReplyDelete;)
-kw
Guess what...I have a blog now...I've crossed over with you!
ReplyDeleteI agree with about 80%. But Piminto and Cheese sandwiches. That is unamerican. ha
ReplyDeleteYou, Marty Cooper, are absolutely hilarious! I laughed out loud several times and the people I work with definitely looked at me crazy. I do have to agree with several things on your list: school shirts that aren't school colors (where the school spirit in that), Dirty Dancing (I hate that movie!), "unspoken" prayer requests (what are we praying for then), dipping cookies in milk (that takes away the emjoyment of JUST the cookie), couples that sit on the same side of the booth and girls who sit in the middle of the seat in the guy's vehicle (seriously, I need my personal space), guacamole (it doesn't even look good), and finally...bad grammar. I don't even know what to say about that. I correct athletes all the time.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, welcome to the blogging community. I shall look forward to each day that I can read your hilarious posts. Don't let me down!
Hahaha I love this list, but have to disagree with Pimento and Cheese. When I got to college I started eating A LOT of Pimento and Cheese, so much in fact that my body has an uncorrectable reliance on the stuff. I love it, it's my kryptonite. This list is intensssse, and secretly i have been reading your blog for a while now. It's so very very very very funny, I don't think I've laughed aloud so consistently much.
ReplyDelete