39 weeks

My buddy Bethany commented that I haven't blogged in a while. It's been 8 days since my last post...and Campbell is still hibernating.

I need to get a 39-week picture to put on here. I haven't blogged because all I would write is:

Tired
Anxious
Emotional
My back hurts
Nauseated

WAITING...

Waiting is hard, and I feel guilty saying that because I have so many friends who have adopted and are adopting, and that is REAL waiting. Or at least a different kind, and longer for sure.

Technically Campbell isn't due until Sunday. But I'm growing weary of carrying an approximately 7 lb baby around. But, I'm also anxious about him being here because then I'll be his mom and that's HUGE.

I sent a text to Bethany tonight asking for prayer. (She has a 7-month-old baby girl.) I told her I'm having a hard time waiting on Campbell to arrive, but I'm also freaking out about him being here. She said that is a perfect description of emotions for this time in my pregnancy - 5 days til my due date.

I go to the doctor tomorrow to get checked and see if I've progressed any. He dropped at 36 weeks, but since then no dilation or effacement or anything. Maybe this will have changed by tomorrow, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

I keep saying to myself (and to God), "I need grace." I think that'll be my motto for the next several months.

So there's your dose of honesty. I'm thankful, yes. So very thankful. But also weary, anxious, hopeful, uncomfortable...and waiting.