Meet Gomer

Sure, she looks like a nice Christian lady here. But, don't let her fool you. Gomer is the trifling, unfaithful, adulterous woman in my life -- otherwise known as my car.

My car was born in 2001. I got my car when I graduated from high school in 2002, so my car was one year old when I got her. She is now 7 years old (I've had her for 6 years...just in case you can't do the math), and she has 75,000 miles on her. Not bad, huh? You'd think.

Until January of 2007, her name was Malibuyah (a combination of malibu and booyah to describe her awesomeness). We had so much fun together. It seemed like she'd never let me down...friends forever!

However, almost a year-and-a-half ago, Malibuyah decided she wanted a makeover. Her back left tire had a continual slow leak, and she quit on me one day on my way to the mall in Jackson with my buddy Kathryn. Malibuyah started blowing smoke and breathing fire. I was genuinely concerned for her health, so I took her to the doctor. I thought she might have a cold and need to take it easy and drink some fluids. Not so. The doctor (Dr. Mechanic) said she needed a new head gasket. Boom. $1,100. She couldn't wait until after Kurt graduated from seminary to have that procedure done . She wanted it right then -- on a single income budget. She then got a plug in her tire for $80. I couldn't afford to get her a new tire (cosmetic) after she just had expensive major surgery.

After that, she seemed normal again for a while, but my trust in her was definitely shaken. When would she turn on me again? At what point would she decide she needed more surgery? I'll tell you at what point -- right after we moved to Tupelo. She quit on me again. I thought I had simply run out of gas, but my "E" light had just turned on, and I was on my way to the gas station. Diagnosis: new alternator. New alternator! "Malibuyah," I asked her, "what's wrong with your current alternator?" Who knows...she wanted a new one. Also, new battery, new brake pads, new tires. About another $1,000 total.

After this $2,000 makeover in less than 2 years, my confidence in my friend, my faultless companion throughout college and early marriage, had completely failed. Thus, I changed her name to Gomer.

She is no longer Malibuyah because she is no longer awesome. She is unfaithful and untrustworthy. I thought I might name her Israel because of their repeated unfaithfulness to God in the Old Testament. But that is 1.) a boy name and 2.) not specific enough. I chose to rename her Gomer, the adulterous wife of Hosea. No matter how faithful Hosea was to her, no matter how he sought after her and cared tenderly for her, she remained unfaithful to him. I don't deserve the nickname Hosea, even though I am comparing myself to him in this situation. (Hosea prefigures Christ, and I am nowhere near the faithful believer he was). But you absolutely can call my car Gomer.

Sadly, she will not be graciously redeemed as Gomer eventually is by Hosea and as God's people are through Jesus Christ. I will never trust her again. I will tolerate her for a few more years (if she lasts that long, the trifling you-know-what) and then bid her a long-awaited adieu.