Last night (Wednesday) Kurt was at a church meeting, and I was home all by my lonesome. We have designated Thursday evenings to have friends and families from our church over for dinner. So, I was cleaning the house (since I was all alone and had nothing to do -- nothing on TV) to prepare for company.
Well, guess who decided to show up? A friggin' spider. In the sink. In the guest bathroom. And it was BIG. (I know most girls think all spiders are big, but I'm serious. This one was B-I-G.)
I saw it and started screaming. I hate being startled, as you may know, but being startled by a non-human is the worst! So, after a few shouted expletives, I ran to get the roach spray. Roach spray? Yes. Roach spray. (I don't think spider spray exists. If it does, I need to know.) I didn't want to smash it with a shoe or heavy book (like Ginger) so Kurt could see how big it actually was when he got home. Evidence is key, people.
I retrieved the roach spray and fogged the heck out of that freak in the sink. It didn't take long to poison him (an answer to prayer), and I left him there -- crumbled in the sink until Kurt got home. However, I immediately texted Kurt to explain my trauma. I could barely type the words because my hands were shaking.
Text convo:
Me - There is a huge spider in the guest bathroom sink. When are you coming home? Hurry!
Kurt - We aren't done yet. I'll be home as soon as it's over. You can smash it with one of my shoes if you want. Also the fly swatter will kill it. I'm sorry.
Me - I already sprayed it with roach spray. Come home!
So, he arrived about 30 minutes later. During that half hour waiting period, I frantically checked the sink every 5 minutes to make sure the dead spider was still in there and that the poison hadn't mutated it into a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade blimp-sized spider that was going to chase me down the hall and kill me. You know when you kill a bug and then you feel like they are everywhere?? Well, I did. I was watching my back and each step I took to make sure there were no more of his kind. YUCK.
Kurt finally came home and praised me as (direct quote) "Xena Warrior Princess." Dang right. He went to the bathroom to examine the corpse in the sink. He then said, "Oh. It's just a wolf spider. They aren't poisonous. They can't hurt you."
My response: "Well they certainly can't help me."
they totally make spider spray!!! we have several cans! i'm just like you when it comes to spiders.
ReplyDeletei knew laura would be the first to comment to this post! dk
ReplyDeleteI have the same aversion to roaches that you have to spiders. Pop thinks I am totally ridiculous!!! I love your new blog design!!!!! Mop
ReplyDeleteOMG!! We had the SAME spider just last week in our kitchen. I was scared to death and still can't walk in a room without looking around. Nate used wasp spray and sprayed the spider 6 times before it died!!!
ReplyDeleteYou haven't lived until you have shared a SHOWER with a SPIDERCRICKET. Just google that pretty boy and imagine looking up to see him sitting with you in the shower.
ReplyDeletePiece of advice: if this does happen to you, do not spray him with roach spray - it takes more time to kill him with it that it takes time to suffocate you to dear death.
hey mail date! good to find you on here! i am sorry about your spider experience.... we deal with roaches in this house. last summer we found one in the bed and i puked. i can't wait for heaven, can you? haha. love you!
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